News - New releases

Aung San Suu Kyi awaits delivery of Ideal Home Magazine...possibly.

It's been a good week for hostages. First Aung San Suu Kyi in Burma, prisoner of conscience, pro-democracy campaigner and, in case you wondered why her freedom matters to the British establishment, Oxford graduate, was freed after spending 15 of the last 21 years under house arrest along with her two housekeepers, prompting calls for the abolition of the Burmese military junta as well as posing questions about the number of staff one requires when dinner parties become a thing of the past. Then Aung's release was swiftly followed by the freedom of the Chandlers, Rachel and Paul, held captive by increasingly pissed off Somali pirates who took 13 months to realise that the retired quantity surveyor and economist from Tunbridge Wells were small fish in a sea of South Korean supertankers and Russian military hardware. The pirates were last heard bemoaning the fact that the (insert own guess here)/£500,000 paid ransom barely covered the costs of feeding their captives. Judging by the picture below the pirates were either a) telling porkies (surely not) b) feeding the couple on scraps flown in from L'Oranger restaurant in St James http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/8138599/Couple-arrested-over-smoke-and-run-restaurant-fraud.html or, failing those two options, the price of qat has rocketed since I last bought some.

Rachel and Paul Chandler - Eating the flowers of paradise?

In the spirit of freedom, Planet Geli wishes all parties well. And let's not forget, celebrity hostages aside, that there are another 2,200 incarcerated political prisoners in Burma who are not Oxford graduates and 400-500 shipping staff from merchant Navies across the globe currently being held in tents along Somalia's coastline. When all these people are free we can truly celebrate freedom of movement and book our cruises through the Indian Ocean. Until then the road to Mandalay should remain closed.

Save me from drowning in the sea
Beat me up on the beach

What a lovely holiday
There's nothing funny left to say
This sombre song would drain the sun
But it won't shine until it's sung

No water running in the stream
The saddest place we've ever seen

Everything I touched was golden
Everything I loved got broken
On the road to Mandalay
Every mistake I've ever made
Has been rehashed and then replayed
As I got lost along the way

There's nothing left for you to give
The truth is all that you're left with
Twenty paces then at dawn
We will die and be reborn

I like to sleep beneath the trees
Have the universe at one with me
Look down the barrel of a gun
And feel the Moon replace the Sun

Everything we've ever stolen
Has been lost returned or broken
No more dragons left to slay
Every mistake I've ever made
Has been rehashed and then replayed
As I got lost along the way

Save me from drowning in the sea
Beat me up on the beach
What a lovely holiday
There's nothing funny left to say



Robbie Williams (!!??) - not Kipling.