Sport - The Ashes 3rd Test Day One Tremlett rises to the occasion (Collingwood too)

Catch of the day - Ponting is 'Collingwooded' once again.

The fairytale continues. England fans, so used to waking up to nightmares when their team is in Australia,  were treated to another champagne breakfast from their heroes down under. Perth holds a miserable tradition for England with only one victory (against Australia 2nds in the days of Kerry Packer) against seven defeats. The time difference makes it worse for the fans back home as they have so often been treated to hearing or seeing some of the capitulation, Perth being a couple of hours behind Sydney et al. Today, for the first time in a lot of fan's living memory, the boot was firmly on the other foot. The humiliation for Australia continued.

All the talk of Beer before the game came from the Australian selectors. And it was just that - talk. Beer was put on drinks duty. All the talk of beer during and after the day's play came from the Barmy Army as tumbling wickets were celebrated in time honoured fashion. Phil Hughes's return was as unimpressive as Tremlett's was eye-catching. In the six balls they shared Tremlett put Hughes on his knees before squaring him up, beating him and knocking his stumps over. England are getting pretty good at statements of intent from early on.

If it was hard to imagine a more perfect start Collingwood defied that one. Strauss had already dropped a near impossible chance off Watson at the beginning of Anderson's third over so Colling wood decided to show his Captain how it's done four balls later - and for the prize wicket of Ponting too. If you haven't seen it I suggest you do. Arsenal could do worse for a goalkeeper.

Look ashamed Michael, look very ashamed.

Tremlett picked up three of the first five to leave Australia 69-5. 268 all out might look like a great recovery but really it just shows up the poor batting of Australia's top order - a top order in a real crisis. North may have gone but his replacement Steve Smith looked ludicrously out of position at 6 in the batting order and both his and Clarke's dismissals were tame beyond belief. If Clarke does replace Ponting at the end of what is becoming carnage for Australia then he will either have found some miraculous form out of nowhere - or have friends in very high places.

Hussey and Haddin started a fightback (where have we heard that before) and this time the recalled Johnson joined in too along with Peter Siddle. But with England closing out the new ball to 29-0 it was another day to England, the eighth in a row in this series. Johnson looked pretty stupid trying to play the hard man to Strauss as the players left the field. Michael Vaughan had it about right (for once) "That's desperation. Their team is knackered."

Halfway through the series we have Ponting averaging 20, Clarke 23 (and Hussey 100). Anderson, Finn and Swann have taken 11 wickets apiece. There is only one team playing as a team here. You have to feel for Ricky Ponting. No you don't.

330-5 by this time tomorrow. In our dreams?